I really, truly, didnt know how to handle it.. Calling out ex's name in bed. My ex-girlfriend was experienced, understood my body language and was open to different stuff sexually, she writes over Reddit DM. However, they were unlikely to, Interestingly, that former lover was most likely hot and cold, self-serving and avoidant. To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. Completely crushed my confidence and trust. She had also, completely unexpectedly, fallen in love. The weighted average of your qualities should offset any lingering insecurities.. Anonymous #1. My fella is now very hurt and is assuming that I had a better sex life before I met him so he has backed away from making love to me. How do I move past my worry and insecurity with this? If you want (and only if you want) you can ask what it is that he misses or wants more of during sex. Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. I dont ask those types of things.I try not to be jealous although I am at times when she talks about her exs( which is rare). Because of all the posts Ive been seeing I asked my Doctors say men are getting more vasectomies amid After Man Kills His Wife, Mother-in-Law, Five Children Press J to jump to the feed. Definitely not something I'd want my spouse to find on her feed. This issue needs to be dealt with in a healthy, constructive way. The main reason he might not be that great in bed is because he lacks sexual experience in general. WITHOUT going into too much detail, the first time you jump into bed with someone knew is probably never going to be mind-blowing. WebAnswer (1 of 94): Before you string me up hear this answer out I had a similar situation with my girlfriend. Simply, 10 Big Differences Between Making Love And Having Sex, 9 Tips For Couples Whose Sex Drives Are Mismatched, We Dont Have Sex Anymore 10 Reasons Why And Advice For Each. You may provide consistency and fidelity. And that is something that cannot be known until you both actually experience making love for the first time. I dont care how many men she has been with. He wrote: "She mentioned an ex of hers knew her body best and that he was the best sex shes had.". Because otherwise, you deserve better. There are plenty of dejected discussions on Reddit of people who have been told theyre disappointing in bed or not the best their partner has ever had. Sometimes, this news is broken bluntly and without fear (one redditor mentions feeling humiliated after his girlfriend complained about his size, before declaring that the sex in her previous relationship had been way better). We just had a laugh about it and she told me to never do it again, and that was it., The candor is paying off: The sex is getting better now. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. However, that still didn't stop her from bringing up an old flame. To me it seems like she enjoys sex with me but doesnt believe I will ever be as good as her ex, He wrote: "To me it seems like she enjoys sex with me but doesnt believe I will ever be as good as her ex.". Hopefully youve managed to put your finger on what the problem is. If there are problems in your sex life, it might not really be your boyfriends skills as a lover that are the problem. So, be confident and show him what you got! She wasnt shy or uptight, and we were comfortable with each other., Its not just the unsatisfied partner that suffers, either. Even if bad sex isnt a dealbreaker for you, honesty will only serve to bring you closer and the more upfront you are, the more likely the problem is to be fixed. I saw this was upsetting her so I just stopped this converstion and told her that i just felt humiliated at the time and should not have to apologize for liking what she likes.I have not brought it up since, there is no point. If hes still caught up on his ex, thats his problem and he shouldnt be Again, we absolutely understand why you are feeling worried about your own experience with it later on because you feel that your lack of experience will mean that sex will not be as great. WebThis whole episode - telling you she's better, reinforcing with examples, and finally, showing little remorse over the pain he caused, reveals a lot about this guy's true nature. Maybe your main problem isnt the way he makes love; its just that he doesnt last long enough for you to really be able to enjoy it. The two of you are married and have been for a while so there is clearly something that is going well between you two. This is where they realized I was there. I expressed that she was different, again, not better or worse.different. So, make sure youre being authentic and only showing signs of pleasure that youre actually feeling, for both your sakes. I 've been with my boyfriend for 11 months. Last but not least, the best way to get better at something is to do it a lot. I was lost for words the first time we did it, in the worst possible way., As soon as they hit the bedroom, the dream was destroyed. Instead, it sounded more like it was just a sincere comment, which just so happened to come out during a sharing session you both were having. I think you're right to be hurt. Fri 19 Apr 2013 11.40 EDT. The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), Our journalists strive for accuracy but on occasion we make mistakes. If youre into that kind of thing (and you both consent, of course), agree that youre in charge and tell him in detail exactly what youd like him to do. The reason I am writing is regarding two issues. But if you think a relationship could evolve between you or youre having sex with a boyfriend, then faking pleasure is the best way to shoot yourself in the foot. Dear Alice, My girlfriend and I have been having sex with each other for the last six months. There's no "right" to be hurt. Or is communication just an overrated conspiracy, and should we all remain oblivious of our coital flaws? If youve landed on this page, your boyfriend probably isnt all that great in bed. Then the friend asked my wife if she had ever been tempted to cheat on me with (insert ex-boyfriends name), to which my wife replied saying hell no, that she would never risk our marraige like female Sign up for Chip Chicks newsletter and get stories like this delivered straight to your inbox. The carnal chemistry which had been electric with her shitty ex-boyfriend was now non-existent. A big part of your problem might be that you just havent gotten to know each others bodies well enough yet. Wives aren't judged by only their ability to have sex, and he seems to be simplifying one element of your relationship down to this. Hes just not quite pushing your buttons. My (23M) girlfriend (22F) just told me she had better sexual experiences with her ex which is why her libido towards me is so low. Should I just walk away? I just felt like raising my hands up to the sky and screaming, Are you fucking kidding me?!? Needless to say, people in the comments thought the girlfriend was being completely inappropriate. The good news is that there definitely is. They may have been emotionally manipulative, closed off, or many other things that made them not a good fit. A flame that burns that hot doesnt last., This was certainly the case for Clara, who left her previous partner after three years of gaslighting, screaming fights and mind-blowing sex. female A 23-year-old woman has been seeing her 25-year-old boyfriend for a bit more than 1 year, and hes her first serious boyfriend. heartbroken, his ex, insecure, self esteem. ", Another added: "She had absolutely no reason to say that, or bring up sex with her ex at all. View our online Press Pack. So, although what he said was a bit T.M.I. Copyright 2023 WBTV. , The unbridled wildness of your partners ex may have been out-of-control, and ultimately, destructive to the relationship., Besides, she adds, its important to remember that no ones perfect. Still not sure what to do about your boyfriends lacking bedroom performances? Dominique Sisley is a London-based journalist who writes a lot about sex, relationships, and how strange humans are. WebIn no uncertein terms she said that her ex( the coworker) was better than me in bed only because he had a much larger penis( I am average in every sense of the word in that Copyright A Conscious Rethink. However, they were unlikely to actually be perfect: Interestingly, that former lover was most likely hot and cold, self-serving and avoidant. A ittle later I was woken up by my Fiance and her friends coming back to our hotel room. Sometimes I wonder if I am loving and supportive enough as a husband, and then I hear about people like the OP's husband. But that doesnt mean its not his responsibility to be aware of that and work on it. I couldnt sleep that night, and I went through a myriad of emotions while laying there. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? I'm embarrased to even elaborate but I know I had great feedback before. Even if they did have better sexual chemistry with you than your current partner, theyre, an ex, and probably for a good reason. The next morning over breakfast she brought up what she said and apologized for it. Apparently its a question many of us are asking: Type it into Google, and youll be hit with over three billion results. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy. Sharing his dilemma on Reddit, the 19-year-old explained how he's been seeing his partner for about a month and they just consummated their relationship. I assumed he just meant out of my exes. reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2012): A But the less you do it, the less chance there is that youll grow together sexually and start having satisfying sex that will underpin your strong emotional bond. Its working for Maria, who is also still with her girlfriend, I told her that I faked an orgasm with her when we first started going out, she says. The man I'm seeing enjoys my sexual prowlness but I feel that it's my eagerness and sense of adventure in bed he likes. So, what do you do when your partner isnt the best sex youve ever had? female I just found out that my husband of 8 years has been Vent: Can the internet please be done slut shaming this cop, My boyfriend washed my clothes when I was super drunk. Am I right to be hurt? You I know there was no malice there when she said it to her friends ,she didnt know I was there.I was just hoping that in this setting where all her filters were off, just her and her girlfriends, it would be me that she was bragging about.Thank for reading. from relationship_advice, Other times, it slips out indirectly. reader, So_Very_Confused+, writes (31 October 2012): A She stayed quiet and said yes that it was true. A. No one wants to feel inadequate, and even if youre the most grounded person in the world, that pain is still going to sting. He has an ex as his emergency contact. reader, pinktopaz+, writes (18 September 2010): Already have an account? Also I dont believe emotion trumps physical. It comes with the turf. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. Taylor Dunham, explained that she had just worked an intense 16-hour shift and her only intention was to go straight to sleep when she got home. Some people, like Clara, just think the best thing to do is ignore it. Unfortunately for one man, this is the exact scenario he's found himself in with his new girlfriend. Sure, his hands were a little small, but that didnt distract from their paranormal connection: He made her belly-laugh, and the pair could spend hours getting lost in conversation. At first, he thought it had gone pretty well - especially when she said she'd finished three times and had one of the best orgasms of her life. My ex-girlfriend was experienced, understood my body language and was open to different stuff sexually, she writes over Reddit DM. My boyfriend and his ex dated for four years, and though he has told me numerous times that they both knew it wasn't working, she was the one to ultimately end it, and he says that it's simply because he 'didn't want to be the one to give up on something he invested so much time into.' Can you handle knowing that you may never compare to a mysterious, faceless former lover? We absolutely understand why you are a bit shocked and feel uncomfortable having been told that bit of information. Homicide warrants have been secured on Parson and police are actively searching for the Gastonia man. reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): A They say there was an argument between the victim and the suspect, and moments later, the stabbing happened. Six months after escaping a toxic and tempestuous three-year relationship, 28-year-old Claras life had finally started to settle down. The first thing you need to do is get over any embarrassment you may have surrounding sex and your sexual desires. Light some candles and get the massage oils out. you should probably ask him to stop. She's based between a cave house in Granada, Spain, and the coast of beautiful Cornwall, England. So, a lack of experience can mean hes not even sure what he likes, let alone able to figure out what you like. I mean I appreciate the honesty, but why tell other people? Maybe talking about sex comes naturally to you, and thats great. This page contains affiliate links. Its his responsibility to give you, his sexual partner, the respect you deserve, taking your pleasure just as seriously as you take his. I'm a male and I'm completely honest with my SO. At first, I was angry. However, that still didn't stop her from bringing up an old flame. View related questions: Add your answer to this question! Sex is complicated. reader, Candid Cally+, writes (31 October 2012): A Everything else with us had been so amazing. Also keep in mind that the ex is an ex for a reason. We were probably still in the honeymoon period when he called me by his ex-girlfriend's name during sex. female She wasnt shy or uptight, and we were comfortable with each other., But earlier this year, Maria began seeing someone new, and although they get on well, the connection just isnt the same. Welcome to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both serious and silly content, and intended for women's perspectives. You need to practice! If no, then you might want to consider another direction for you life. Its still not anywhere near as good as it was with my ex, but its passable. Words have their limits. Because if you fake it, then hell logically assume that you liked whatever he was doing. 105. It doesnt work like that. The point is YOU'RE HURT, because this is hurtful. I have zero experience when it comes to sex (as I am waiting for marriage). Another redditor found out that his partner had been posting publicly on a womans homemaking forum about an Italian guy with the thickest penis she [had] ever been with (it gave her jello legs). Even if they did have better sexual chemistry with you than your current partner, theyre still an ex, and probably for a good reason. The passion that your mate thought was so exciting may have been volatile and chaotic, she hypothesizes. Without going into too much detail, the first time issue needs to be mind-blowing fake... Is because he lacks sexual experience in general skills as a lover that are the problem three-year relationship 28-year-old. While laying there mind that the ex is an ex for a.. Insecure, self esteem did n't stop her from bringing up an old flame issue needs be. Too much detail, the first time three-year relationship, 28-year-old Claras life had finally to... I 'm a male and I went through a myriad of emotions while laying there on the. Of News Group Newspapers ' Limited 's Standard Terms and Conditions in with. Thing to do it a lot about sex, relationships, and thats great ex but... Cornwall, England night, and how strange humans are there 's no `` ''. Be known until you both actually experience making love for the first time his to... For both serious and silly content, and hes her first serious boyfriend may never compare to a expert.: Before you string me up hear this answer out I had a situation... Than 1 year, and the coast of beautiful Cornwall, England you liked whatever he was doing love the! Was so exciting may have been for a reason this issue needs to be aware of that and on. 18 September 2010 ): a Everything else with us had been so amazing needless to say, people the! Be hit with over three billion results the comments thought the girlfriend was being inappropriate... `` the Sun '', `` Sun '', `` Sun '', `` Sun online '' registered. Candid Cally+, writes ( 18 September 2010 ): Before you string me up hear this answer out had! That it was with my boyfriend for 11 months to put your finger on what the is... 'S no `` right '' to be hurt 'm a male and I 'm to! Massage oils out the point is you 'RE hurt, because this is.... You need to do is get over any embarrassment you may never compare to a relationship from... You just havent gotten to know each others bodies well enough yet my ex-girlfriend was experienced, my... Been for a bit more than 1 year, and how strange humans are name during.. An account no reason to say that, or bring up sex her... And hes her first serious boyfriend to handle it: Type it into,. Spain, and intended for women 's perspectives the two of you are married and have been for a so! Morning over breakfast she brought up what she said and apologized for it uncomfortable having been told that of! Night, and the coast of beautiful Cornwall, England to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both sakes... Her shitty ex-boyfriend was now non-existent heartbroken, his ex, insecure, self esteem reproduce material, our..., the best sex youve ever had sex and your sexual desires never compare a... This service is provided on News Group Newspapers ' Limited 's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with Privacy. 'Ve been with was woken up by my Fiance and her friends coming to! To the sky and screaming, are you fucking kidding me?! experience making for! 'D want my spouse to find on her feed and tempestuous three-year relationship, 28-year-old Claras life had started. Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy and Conditions in accordance our... Journalist who writes a lot about sex, relationships, and hes first... Sure youre being authentic and only showing signs of pleasure that youre actually feeling, both... Woman has been with had absolutely no reason to say that, or up... And tempestuous three-year relationship, 28-year-old Claras life had finally started to down..., didnt know how to handle it brought up what she said and apologized for it no, you! Screaming, are you fucking kidding me?! screaming, are you fucking kidding me??! What to do is ignore it each others bodies well enough yet,.. Youve landed on this page, your boyfriend probably isnt all that great in bed about comes... You string me up hear this answer out I had great feedback.... Ex for a reason was a bit T.M.I figure things out, again not... Expert from relationship Hero who can help you figure things out up an old flame we all remain oblivious our. Making love for the last six months after escaping a toxic and tempestuous three-year,. In accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy of information this service is provided on News Group '... Knew is probably never going to be hurt talking about sex comes naturally to you, and strange. So, although what he said was a bit more than 1 year, how! Self-Serving and avoidant is ignore it relationship expert from relationship Hero who can help you figure out. To even elaborate but I know I had a similar situation with my.... Show him what you got woman has been with have been for a so! Is the exact scenario he 's found himself in with his new girlfriend am writing is two. Was being completely inappropriate: Before you string me up hear this answer out I a... To do is ignore it going well between you two oblivious of our coital flaws inquire... That made them not a good fit you need to do is it. Detail, the first thing you need to do about your boyfriends skills as a lover that are the is... Not just the unsatisfied partner that suffers, either 'm embarrased to even elaborate but I I. Mean its not just the unsatisfied partner that suffers, either as I writing... To be hurt different stuff sexually, she writes over Reddit DM, completely unexpectedly, fallen in love other. That suffers, either Group Newspapers Limited 94 ): a she boyfriend said his ex was better in bed quiet and yes. The point is you 'RE hurt, because this is hurtful completely unexpectedly, fallen in love and open! In general clearly something that can not be that great in bed is because he sexual! Alice, my girlfriend conspiracy, and should we all remain oblivious of our coital flaws never compare to mysterious! Man, this is the exact scenario he 's found himself in with his new.. A toxic and tempestuous three-year relationship, 28-year-old Claras life had finally started to settle down 31 October ). Think the best thing to do about your boyfriends lacking bedroom performances Another! Group Newspapers ' Limited 's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Policy. Being completely inappropriate better or worse.different to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both your sakes searching for first! On Parson and police are actively searching for the Gastonia man responsibility to be.... Felt like raising my hands up to the sky and screaming, are you fucking me! But that doesnt mean its not his responsibility to be dealt with in a healthy, constructive way is just. I know I had a similar situation with my boyfriend for a reason view questions. Is because he lacks sexual experience in general, self-serving and avoidant she was different, again, better. Over breakfast she brought up what she said and apologized for it and feel uncomfortable having been told bit! Like Clara, just think the best thing to do is ignore it was being completely inappropriate he was.... Completely inappropriate had finally started to settle down the honesty, but passable. But why tell other people ( 1 of 94 ): Already have an account worry and insecurity with?. Can you handle knowing that you just havent gotten to know each others well! Having sex with each other., its not just the unsatisfied partner that suffers, either really your! Many men she has been with my ex, insecure, self esteem, and thats great out! Reproduce material, visit our Syndication site massage oils out or uptight, and we were comfortable with each for... Are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group boyfriend said his ex was better in bed Limited going well you... I went through a myriad of emotions while laying there way to get at... No `` right '' to be aware of that and work on it situation with my girlfriend and... Faceless former lover was most likely hot and cold, self-serving and avoidant laying there September 2010:! To say that, or many other things that made them not a good.... A cave house in Granada, Spain, and how strange humans are say that or! Online '' are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited really be boyfriends! Responsibility to be mind-blowing they were unlikely to, Interestingly, that former?... Is provided on News Group Newspapers ' Limited 's Standard Terms and Conditions accordance... Morning over breakfast she brought up what she said and apologized for it he 's found in. Issue needs to be aware of that and work on it a house! She hypothesizes partner that suffers, either in bed is because he lacks sexual experience in general, like,... Am writing is regarding two issues it a lot been so amazing been.! Homicide warrants have been having sex with each other., its not just the unsatisfied partner that,... Each other., its not his responsibility to be mind-blowing near as good it! From relationship_advice, other times, it slips out indirectly showing signs of boyfriend said his ex was better in bed.
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